This week and the next feel like I’m trying to play a four-note chord on the piano that spans nine keys. It’s doable – but it’s a stretch. I’m not sure how else to explain it.
Oh! I found another niche explanation analogy. “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over to much bread.” (Fellowship of the Ring, Ch. 1, J. R. R. Tolkien) Like I’m trying to be too many places and do to many things at once.
The problem with this problem is that it was foreseeable. I just…didn’t foresee. Instead of trying to get ahead, I was working on other projects that really don’t matter in this moment.
I guess it’s unwitting procrastination? I have definitely wittingly procrastinated before, but sometimes I just don’t think through everything coming up and all the sudden it blindsides me out of nowhere.
After an hour of stress-staring at my ceiling last night, I can personally not recommend unwitting procrastination to you. I was trying to sleep, to rest, but my brain is going 100 miles a minute, rattling through all the things I didn’t get done, trying to convince me that at this point I should just get up and work on whatever this-or-that now, since I’m obviously not sleeping like I should me. Even though my brain is the thing keeping me from sleeping.
This is probably a very niche experience. (Wow, I used niche twice in one SC…who would have thought?) I don’t expect many of you completely lose track of what is coming up and remain blissfully unaware of the stress about to smack you upside the head. But that’s what I’m feeling this week, so I thought I would share that.
To end with something encouraging, God had us even in the midst of these kinds of moments. He’s there when we’re anxious. He’s there when we’re busy. He’s there when we’re waltzing through life. And learning to lean on the One who is already there is one of the biggest journeys there is. So do not despair. Lean in.
